3 Apr

Right now the problem is: proximity to the cabinet which holds all the cleaning supplies. Two mouthfuls of lye-based commercial solution and a way we go. The bottles beckon mostly at night. Right now the problem is patterns. Everything is patterns. There is no chaos. What we call chaotic is a failure to recognize a monotonous series of actions. There are patterns within the patterns. Patterns on top of patterns. Patterns askant of patterns. History is a pattern. We are copies of poorly-made copies. Diluted generations. Repeating and exacerbating mistakes. Kaiser Wilhelm with a foreshortened arm. Czar Nicholas II with dwarfism. There are no variables. There is no free will. There is only the inevitable.
How I feel is, I’m the rabbit going under the speeding wheels.
Only I’m on Citalopram.
40 milligrams.
Pink, oval, scored tablets.
Washing soda is an excellent choice for helping drains stay clear because while it is alkaline—a pH of 11—it isn’t as caustic and damaging as the commonly used lye-based commercial product. It’s good for the pipes.
So strike that second sentence on potassium carbonate liquor and its virtues.
Two mouthfuls of washing soda and a way we go.

Right now the problem is constant manufacturing of product.
Product placement.
New and Improved.
And clichés.
Been there done that.
He’s as good as anyone.
“That little monkey gets loose, doesn’t he”
The problem is commodity cycles: cutting lawns, washing cars, inane pleasantries thrown from one sidewalk to the other. And the bumblebees are back. Pollinating little white flowers barely opened on gaunt, brown fingers of a strangling vine with tiny, evergreen leaves.
Everything is laid out in the planner on the counter.
The problem is, sometime in between doing chores, I’ll forget to kill myself. There are products for that, too:
cholinesterase inhibitors. They’re used for Alzheimer’s. Donepezil is taken once daily. Vitamin E, estrogen, selegiline and a mixture of ergoloid mesylates. There are heavy side effects with most of these. So I’ll just stick with writing on the back of my hand in black sharpie. Don’t forget to use new blades.
Everything is so derivative.
A reference to a reference.
You chisel yourself in the mirror, based on what GQ says. Bits of flesh chipped away daily, along with a morning shave. What I really could use right now is a chemical peel. That’s what Vogue recommends for forty-one-year-old men with saggy facial skin.
And Decleor cream.


3 Responses to “Product”

  1. Mathias 03/04/2007 at 4:11 PM #

    Holy crap it’s like you annotated my thought processes. Somehow that bothers me.

    I see where they are going with the Donepezil, but the never letting the neurons rest would only seem to cause long term catastrophic destruction once the neurons reach exhaustion. (not a doctor)

  2. Anonymous 03/04/2007 at 7:32 PM #

    You’re not 41 though. Ha.

  3. Lx 03/04/2007 at 11:08 PM #

    Mathias, don’t be bothered too much; none of us are originals anymore.

    Dipak, uh…Jay, close enough.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: