Stuart The Cube (Again)

8 May

He says.
“This, all this…it’s child’s play.”
He puts up his feet on the GVG 300. He locks his arms behind his head.
“It’s ridiculous, is what it is.” He says. “Easy money. That’s what I’m talking about. Easiest gig in town. Three hunnerd fifty for an hour of switching between two pompous political babbling heads.”
Stuart the Cube as a greedy pig.
Stuart the Cube as an insufferable, materialistic hog.
Stuart the Cube as judgmental gelatinous obese mass of rotting flesh.
I watch the feeds come in on the auxilliary monitors.
White House.
Wall Street.
10 Downing Street, SW1A 2AA.
Mosby, Kansas levelled by a half-mile wide tornado.
Ford closing its plant in Brook Park.
Man on Street.
On another coast, some local kid with high journalistic aspirations is plunging a yardstick into the knee-deep snow. He waves his arm behind him. The camera swings to show nothing.
Coming in from the Cayman Islands. A local casino is blown away by a hurricane. Flooding. Devastation. A drowned body floats face down. Bloated.
“See? This is where we need a lower fucking third. Where is this? Hah? Where?”
Stuart the Cube as Technical Director.
More B-roll.
All product. All processed and ground into a fine powder.
Taken in at Master Control and sprinkled down to the cable networks.
24-hour news cycle. Product filler. Preservatives. Hydrogenated oils. Digital tape.
“Child’s play.” Stuart the Cube again. “I tell ya.”
Later, I will re-set the transition on the GVG 300 to a 250-frame dissolve. Stuart the Cube doesn’t like the “cut” button. He’s partial to the “auto trans.” And so his easy gig will literally dissolve into an 8-second transition. Enough to get him out of the control room for good.
It’s cruel, but it’s necessary.
And then it comes at me. This is when I figure out where I’m going to do it.


11 Responses to “Stuart The Cube (Again)”

  1. Anonymous 08/05/2007 at 5:22 PM #

    The Master at writing fragments into one coherent narrative. Your Lit professors would be going mad. Nice reference to Mosby and Brook Park. Lay off the 24 hour news cycle. It’s turning your brain into moosh.

  2. Lx 08/05/2007 at 7:32 PM #

    what lit. professors?
    i can’t get off the cycle.
    some sort of strange addiction.
    at least it’s not porn.

  3. Anonymous 09/05/2007 at 1:02 PM #

    Why do you have Al Jazeera as a link? You fucking terrorist. You need to die.

  4. Lx 09/05/2007 at 1:13 PM #

    because i like to be informed.
    i also have Itar-Tass and Xinhua;
    which would make me a communist.
    and The Huffington Post,
    which (according to another bright commentator) would make me an anti-semite
    and AFP, which would make me…lazy and unemployed,
    and C-SPAN, which would make me…boring,
    and The Guardian, which would make me a Socialist or left-winger (i hate wings, by the way, love the breast and thigh),
    and the CBC which would make me…just plain nice, because i love stereotyping Canadians.
    you get the point, i’m sure.

    i’ve often been accused of LOOKING like a terrorist–I am part Greek and Lebanese, and so when I don’t shave for a few days, people assume I carry a slingshot and launch rocks at tanks.
    in a way, if you think about it, we all sort of do that.
    it’s pretty futile…this…life.

    and i agree with you: i do need to die. in time, it will be. rest assured.

    by the way, thanks for reading. lemme run now and load up my slingshot. talk later.


  5. xi 09/05/2007 at 2:18 PM #


  6. slyboots2 09/05/2007 at 3:03 PM #

    I just wonder if the peeps in the unmarked DC/VA buildings who watch Al Jazeera for a living would be classified as terrorists by the clod above? Or me.

    What was it- keep your friends close, and your enemies closer? At least that’s my family policy.

    Hey dude- I’m back. In black.

  7. Lx 09/05/2007 at 3:05 PM #

    d’ja hit the sack?
    nice to see you.
    i trust no weirdness ensued?
    (but hope it did)

  8. slyboots2 09/05/2007 at 3:15 PM #

    Mais oui, mon ami- will post all about it soon.

  9. cube 09/05/2007 at 4:42 PM #

    Not all polyhedrons are bad.

  10. Lx 09/05/2007 at 5:34 PM #

    …but tetrahedrons outright rock!

  11. Tisha! 09/05/2007 at 10:49 PM #

    wooo anonymous is a big coward!

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