Cat-O-Nine-Tails

16 May

Two more hours of sleep overnight. Now up to 6.5 in four days. I’ve broken my record. I should make this a savage log for my inadequacies. There are plenty. I have an unhealthy propensity for self-mutilation. Self-flaggelation. Self checkout. Self ish. Sell fish. Lack of sleep is pushing me into the insanity that is the time being, the time ticking, and the time approaching. At 0300 hours I heat up the sharpening steel in the flame and go to work on the flesh. I can explain all that. Someone else will have to look at this mangled carnage; this deliberate accident. Someone else will have to touch this ugly thing. I can explain all that. That’s the point I was making yesterday. I don’t need to pay some jaded pro her $125 per hour fee to know what’s going on. Case of Montepulciano, remember?

All signs point to a similar night tonight. I’m catching a 6 a.m. flight Thursday morning. There’s all the madness that goes with international travel, and the horrendously long arrival times before I even waltz through customs. I’m thinking of showing up at the airstrip clad only in boxer shorts. They want: shoes off, shirts off, keys out, liquids in Ziplock baggies only… Will there be a body cavity check. Two-to-one on that one. They’ll make you squat quickly, like in Supermax. If you’re storing a shank up your rectum, squatting will eviscerate your colon.

The Powers That Be have granted me access to the Internets during this trip. So there will be posting. Maybe even pictures. Imagine that. Now I have to find a lens which doesn’t crack when trained upon my face. I love The Powers That Be. In my warped way, but nevertheless. And she’s fine with that.

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17 Responses to “Cat-O-Nine-Tails”

  1. Tisha! 16/05/2007 at 1:20 PM #

    bon voyage mon cher Lx!

    tu me fait peur avec tout ca…

  2. Lx 16/05/2007 at 1:27 PM #

    thank you.
    i got the first part.
    but not the second.
    sorry.

  3. Anonymous 16/05/2007 at 1:31 PM #

    Brilliant:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat_o'_nine_tails

  4. choochoo 16/05/2007 at 1:34 PM #

    great!

    And 6,5 hours in four days… Doesn’t break my record. I win:D

  5. slyboots2 16/05/2007 at 3:00 PM #

    Hey- you’d think you were flying out of Great Falls, MT with security like that! Those bastards are such hard asses…unlike the rather mellow folks in Seattle- got the wrong sized ziploc? Ah, that’s ok. Your inhaler is a liquid? Ah, never mind, you have a prescription. But Great Falls? Bastards…

    Just remember to wear socks to the airport-having naked feet where tons of strangers have likewise had naked feet is icky.

  6. Lx 16/05/2007 at 3:10 PM #

    you can have your record choo choo train.

    sly, im showing up naked. the TSA will get a good laff.

  7. JaneDoughnut 16/05/2007 at 5:00 PM #

    Have a good trip, and try to get some sleep. Though I find that insomnia can do wonders for writing, and even your “rambling” is poetic.

  8. Lx 16/05/2007 at 5:41 PM #

    thanks jane.
    i find that insomnia does no wonders for anything, for me.
    it skews things even worse.

  9. Anonymous 16/05/2007 at 7:00 PM #

    1 July 1985 puts you at 16 years old. You were a member at 14.
    J

  10. Tisha! 16/05/2007 at 7:17 PM #

    it’s probably better that you don’t understand the second part ^.^

    airport security always gives me a hard time, asking me if I’m of Egyptian or Moroccan origin…last time I traveled I wore a head covering just to fuck with them and they didn’t even check me…the irony…they didn’t want religious tensions hmmm…next time I’m wearing a hijab ;)

    take a pic of “showing up naked. the TSA will get a good laff.”

  11. Lx 16/05/2007 at 7:27 PM #

    my french is shite, but all i can discern is “you frighten me with…”
    something.
    sort of makes sense, i suppose.
    i frighten most people, including myself.

  12. Lx 16/05/2007 at 7:29 PM #

    J, no.
    at 14 i was only a
    “JV” member.
    i got my card at 16.

  13. Anonymous 16/05/2007 at 9:29 PM #

    Safe travels, Lx. And get some sleep will ya. Maybe the Powers That Be can help you with that too. Oh, photos would be nice.

    Bon Voyage!

    Eh

  14. Lx 16/05/2007 at 9:34 PM #

    Eh! I miss you.
    i need to make a trip down there.
    i need the salt air
    the sea
    the old bastards
    driving crown vics
    and complaining about
    everything.

  15. Anonymous 17/05/2007 at 3:01 AM #

    Isn’t that the truth. Gripe and moan. It’s a favorite pastime down here. Although I have to admit, taxes and insurance give all of us something to complaine about these days. Ha!

    Anyway. Git yur butt down here then!

    Eh

  16. Tisha! 17/05/2007 at 1:39 PM #

    Yep, your French is shit LMAO…no you actually got it: “you frighten me with…all that” (tout ca)

    guess I like the sensation!

    my thought process scares the living shit out of people…especially my black humor, like I give a damn ;)

  17. cocaine jesus 17/05/2007 at 3:41 PM #

    good to see that i am not the only one who obeys and follows the ‘leader’!
    ;)

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