Another Down The Drain

1 Jul

sometimes things align to form perfect circles
superstrings
nebulae
even now
sitting here with red wine and black djarum clove in hand
(thanks T)
listening to the next door neighbour blast “crazy for you” by madonna
even with this insufferable music infringing on my quiet space
things seem to pause
and i can breathe for the first time in many moons
i stay on a leafy, quiet street in the middle of chaos and decrepit souls
wandering around in a daze always asking for money
for cigarettes
for booze
it’s a strange oasis in the middle of Cabbagetown
Garbagetown
(thanks T for coining that)
but it’s analogous to all that has so far been
in this northern city: pockets of quiet within chaos
yesterday i wondered down to the lake on foot
a 45-minute walk among the living dead
the living dying
the dying liars
and for a few minutes things were right again
and again and again
and to-day my 38th year on this weird rock
i get a phone call from the little one
the one with the timeless soul
and the most beautiful laugh you’ve ever heard
the little one, in another country
who sings to me “happy birthday to you”
over and over
off key
and again things are right
“happy birthday daddy”

i think i’ve lost faith in the system
because i keep wondering when it’ll all collapse
even though half of me thinks it won’t
thinks i deserve this quiet kind time
thinks after 38 years i get a tiny break;
maybe i do
do i?

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7 Responses to “Another Down The Drain”

  1. Anonymous 01/07/2007 at 7:52 PM #

    Happy Birthday Dear!
    There’s little that can compare with hearing the beautiful helium voice of your own child singing happy birthday to you.
    Is the glass half empty or full? Life is what you make it. Enjoy this quiet time, Lx, because you do deserve a break. You do!

    Eh

  2. slyboots2 01/07/2007 at 7:55 PM #

    Most happy of Birthdays! Glad you are enjoying the trip.

    Many happy returns!!!

  3. Lx 01/07/2007 at 9:59 PM #

    thanks eh and sly!

  4. Anonymous 01/07/2007 at 10:38 PM #

    Ahhh… But of course.

    Cheers then!

    Eh

  5. dr. zombieswan 02/07/2007 at 2:41 PM #

    It’s only full if you get the two for one specials, and have a backup drink ready. Cause I know you’re drinking them as fast as you can.

    I hope your birthday was good. I think it’s the same day as my mother’s birthday, which is kind of weird. :)

    You’re a cancer. That explains everything.

  6. Anonymous 02/07/2007 at 4:05 PM #

    Happy birthday old man. I called and left a message. Enjoy Toronto.

  7. Rachel 03/07/2007 at 1:40 AM #

    I think you do.

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