Six O’Clock

29 Jul

no matter what
i start my day at six o’clock
there’s an internal circadian rhythm demon
who rings the bell at six and i begin
in some ways it’s all right
i love being up before the house
(when the house has visitors once every other weekend)
and i love early sunday mornings
despite
or in spite of
hangovers or horrendous nights due to sleeplessness
holes in the stomach and other psychological ailments
sunday mornings are for writing and pouring a small glass of wine
for re-tooling and re-gathering of the troops
for strong coffee and a quick glance at the ny times as the sun creeps up
later and later now
i don’t work on crossword puzzles
not good at all with words or finding words when forced to squeeze them
into little boxes into little vertical or horizontal rows
funny that…
i am striving to be a writer yet i despise crossword puzzles
i despise finding words via riddles or clues or tricks
and pushing them down with some degree of cogency into assigned places
it comes when it comes
and it usually always comes
and so i don’t worry about assigning places for my words
last night i slept extremely well
which as you know happens here about as often as spotting edmond halley’s comet
and while short-lived (5 hours) for most normal people
i will take this gem gratefully and gracefully
i need to come at you with some more concrete stuff
maybe this coming week
the malaise of summer combined with a difficult time personally
has left me somewhat decimated creatively
and many projects are on an indefinite hold until september
but in order to keep the machine well-oiled i have to put up things like this post
perhaps a filler for most
but this keeps the channels free of plaque and fat deposits
regarding a certain poem which was removed from this site a few days ago
i am grateful that it struck so many people–i still receive emails and comments about that
but it was extremely personal and in the end i deemed it unsuitable for this site
besides… the right person got to it in time to see it
so it served its purpose
there are days during which i am rendered helpless and nothing works but the writing
it’s a form of exorcising and works momentarily
or rather while i’m in the process of writing
but i’ll take that…even 15 minutes of respite is welcomed
as i write this my house is slowly coming alive
people are starting to stretch and yawn
a little girl is singing a made-up song about a rainbow sneaking under her bedroom door
and a second pot of coffee is brewing
the little wine glass is empty
and i’m ready to start this sunday…one more day down
baby
one more day down
end of july
no more visiting
no more.
start.

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7 Responses to “Six O’Clock”

  1. Anonymous 29/07/2007 at 11:33 AM #

    I love the positive feelings I get from reading this post, Lx. You might look at this one as filler but I disagree. There’s a vulnerability and sensitivity about it that is wonderfully inviting. You’ve always had a knack for slipping in little gems like this from time to time.

    Haven’t said much lately, but I’ve been reading most every day. Just wanted you to know!

    Glad you had a good night’s sleep! Enjoy the little one today.

    Eh

  2. Lx 29/07/2007 at 1:02 PM #

    hey eh.
    thanks much.
    how’re things at the bottom of the world?
    i owe you a long email.

  3. Rachel 29/07/2007 at 1:56 PM #

    I always love these posts.

  4. slyboots2 29/07/2007 at 3:28 PM #

    You sound content. And that makes me very happy. I was having a conversation with a friend (over beer, surprise!) yesterday, and I said that it’s these crystalline moments of contentment and clarity that keep me hanging on when things aren’t quite so pleasant. That as much as I wish that I could hang suspended there in amber forever, I know that it’s just not reality. Sigh. And then I drank some more.

    But congrats on the sleep. That deserves special mention.

  5. she 29/07/2007 at 4:16 PM #

    aaaaand go!

  6. Lx 30/07/2007 at 3:13 AM #

    perfect

  7. Anonymous 31/07/2007 at 10:28 AM #

    Things are pretty good down here. You know, the usual stuff. And some important transitions squeezed in as well. Laptop died over the weekend too. Enjoying sitting at the new Mac now. Lost everything on the old one since the end of March. Ugh! Backup your dang computers REGULARLY everyone! I learned a big one!

    I owe you e-mail too, Lx. I’ll get started.

    Eh

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