Redeem

22 Oct

I think I’m getting messages from my Executive Editor via the inside of Diet Dr. Pepper caps. You know, when you turn them over and match up those insufferable hard-to-decipher codes vis-á-vis some chart on their website? Yes, those. I would like to communicate or, at the very least, rebut some of the changes suggested, but I cannot figure out how. It’s a weird version of conducting a conversation through personal ads. Desperately Seeking…a change from a plural to a possessive. This one, on the elevator coming up to work, 0745 hrs.:
“Moshe, sounds like somebody’s using a pulley to get this behemoth up.”
“Oh yea?”
“Yea.”
“Well then you better call the elevator commish and complain.”
“Yea, well, I might’s well ring up Rusty Jones.”
“Who’s that?”
“You know Rusty Jones.”
“No I don’t.”
“He’s the guy who makes sure the underside of your car doesn’t get corroded.”
“I don’t get it.”
Pa-dam-pum!
Help me Baby Jesus! I vant to drink your (figurative) blahd. This would be a good time for someone to overnight me some valium.

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3 Responses to “Redeem”

  1. Rachel 23/10/2007 at 1:37 AM #

    I would, but I can’t possible spare even a one.

  2. slyboots2 23/10/2007 at 4:10 AM #

    Saw a bottle of Vampire wine at the store this weekend. Guess where it’s from? Yup. Duluth, MN.

    (just kidding!!!! I think it’s a brilliant stroke of marketing- appeal to those goth kids out there)

  3. (S)wine, Inc. 23/10/2007 at 12:23 PM #

    rachel: curse you!
    sly: i would’ve guessed Romania.

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