Ides

14 Mar

Just a heads-up that I won’t be stabbing anyone 23 times tomorrow. You are, no doubt, relieved. The only “Caesar” in my vernacular precedes “salad dressing.” Not in the practical, as I usually fall for ranch or a variation of (yes buttermilk!). Still though. I have this vision of Cicero, Brutus, and Cassius hanging around a smelly, after hours joint; raggedy, glassy-eyed, the portrait of seriousness, banging about ideas sprung from a combination immediately appreciated by any proper insomniac: too much thinking and too little sleeping. (Cue narrator; that guy from the Geico commercial…or Keith David): “It’s political paralysis in a republic headed for hell. And the vacillations of Brutus are more horizontal than vertical.” How in hell can you knock off a tyrant when all you do is sit around and mope? Tempo, boys, tempo…for chrissakes.

Then there’s the Irish. Green beer and all that jazz. Vomiting. Excess. Questionable decisions. Amateur night on the roads. I’ll be staying home on Monday infusing olive oil with chopped up pieces of garlic and watching re-runs of Rerun and the boys. Or Good Times. Anything by Norman Lear, really. Speaking of REs, if the tax refund comes in by then, I’ll be the guy in the apartment on the umpteenth floor who pours cold water over the sugarcube into the glass of absinthe (you know what a bottle of that green stuff costs?) and waits for the wormwood to do its trick.

I am seeing a little leprechaun running for office named O’bama playing thumb wars with a twisted, Riverdance-steppin’ lad named McCain. It’s the wormwood. I know. One of these days I’m gonna get organi-zized.

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4 Responses to “Ides”

  1. Slyboots 14/03/2008 at 7:48 PM #

    FAVORITE quote eveh: “Absinthe makes the tart grow fonder.” Bah dump ump. Oscar Wilde, everybody. Thanks. Try the veal. We’ll be here all night. The second show is not identical to the first one.

    Tempo, boys, tempo is going to enter my lexicon…right….about ….now. And there.
    Thank you.

  2. zombieswan 15/03/2008 at 2:12 AM #

    Hey, no Irish defamation. Or we’ll sue you and all your……. wait, is that beer? And potatoes? And sappy poetry read by a waif with red hair? (Or maybe Bono, I can’t decide which is more Irish today)….

    What were we talking about again?

    Then there’s the old “Why did God create whiskey”? “To Keep the Irish from ruling the world”… ba dump bump. ::cymbal crash::

    I love St. Patrick’s day; every year, it clears the snakes right out of the back yard.

    And on that note, I’m going to go try the veal.

  3. Suzanne Langley 15/03/2008 at 8:39 AM #

    Excellent article and top site.

    I wish that I could visit this area and taste the wine for myself.
    However I have to content myself thousands of miles away here in Aussie with a bottle of the local.

    You just can’t beat a good French drop.

    Cheers.

  4. (S)wine 15/03/2008 at 5:39 PM #

    No Irish defamation; just contempt for those non-Irish amateurs who come out on the 17th.

    Sly, they are selling a domestic version now called “Absente” or something like that, for about $40 a fifth. They’ve substituted the “original wormwood” with “southern wormwood,” whatever that is. A friend has bought it but hasn’t tried it yet. Still waiting on the good word.

    Suzanne, something tells me this is some kind of canned comment. But, uh…cheers nevertheless.

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