18 Apr

For the past 48 hours I’ve been running an experiment. I’ve been referring to the Democratic DarlingWonderboy as Vorack Barama. Don’t ax me how I came up with this moniker and I won’t tell you that I mish-mashed it thanks to Hardball. Yes, I won’t tell you that I still watch Chris Matthews on MSNBC, despite working for him upwards of seven years during the 90s. I also won’t tell you that, were I to be a voter in the great state of Pennsylvania, and were Señor Pumpkinhead (it’s how we lovingly referred to him during our tenure) to run for Arlen Specter’s seat, I would probably go punch that ballot chad under his name.

Anyway, back to Vorack Barama. Suffice it to say that even operating (or navigating) within a liberal-minded, “intellectual,” university milieu such as my current place of employment, not one person has taken it upon him/herself to correct me on the pronunciation of this man’s name. I have thrown out this intentional cognomen at least a dozen times to at least a dozen different people, and no one has taken the bait. I will not stand corrected, it seems. This concerns me, panics me even, you see (I think I just sounded like Snagglepuss there for a moment). Because if even Academia (mmmmm….macademia nuts) is not willing to take that red editor’s pen and redact the unsoundness and disorder that we get away with in our vernacular (daily/political and otherwise), then we are rightfully doomed into Dante’s linguistic disambiguation. (Jay-sus, this is sounding like a Dennis Miller diatribe.)

And so…the point of this measly commentary to-day: My battle cry against skewed patois: People! Don’t let other presidents people get away with the likes of Nuke-u-lar, Strategery, Feb-yoo-ary, Doggy Dog World, etc. Correct them! And expecially don’t let others influenza you or intimate date you by axin to interpretate plate-forms of prezidensial canidates such as fedral fisical policies, irregardless of their position or rank.

Vote for hope. Whatever that is, or means.

(On a different vibe, there’s this)


10 Responses to “Pardon?”

  1. Kunstemaecker 19/04/2008 at 1:28 PM #

    I’m running a little experiment of my own but people have asked me to put my cothes back on.

  2. Bwana 19/04/2008 at 7:59 PM #

    Exit … Stage Right.

  3. Bwana 19/04/2008 at 8:00 PM #

    The name change might help with stupid people who confuse him with Osama Bin Laden.

  4. (S)wine 19/04/2008 at 9:00 PM #

    Ah come on now, no comments on the robots acting out the “funny how” scene from Goodfellas?

    Bwana: “….even!”

  5. Slyboots 19/04/2008 at 9:37 PM #

    I liked the robots. I watched it twice- it’s the best Peschi scene EVAH!

    You are a prankster, sir. But what’s funniest about this is if you have an accent (and I don’t know because you don’t in your writing), they may be trying to be polite and not point out your problematic English. You need to be around the right kind of bossy old lady- I saw one at Uwajimaya (yes, a Japanese grocery store), correcting an Asian lady’s pronunciation. It was a sweet, sweet moment- that would have been greatly enhanced if the Asian lady had beaned the old lady in the head with a bunch of watercress. Now THAT would’ve been funny.

    Seriously, people at my work take themselves far, far too…seriously to pull jokes. It would no doubt show up on my job performance ranking. And yes, there is one of those. Feh.

  6. (S)wine 20/04/2008 at 2:14 AM #

    Sly, I barely barely BARELY have an accent, and it comes out mostly when I’m drunk. I love the scene which you describe w/the Asian woman. Brrrrrriliant!

  7. Rachel 20/04/2008 at 7:57 PM #


  8. (S)wine 21/04/2008 at 3:42 PM #

    Barley. Corn.

  9. Derek Catermole 23/04/2008 at 8:16 PM #

    I know, maybe no-one is correcting you because they’re all figments of your imagination and they’re plotting to turn you over to the shadow government in your hippocampus, which will make you a robot just like all the rest of them. Mwahahahahahahaha!

  10. (S)wine 23/04/2008 at 8:23 PM #

    i think they’ve succeeded.

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