Rant O’The Day

29 Apr

No, no, don’t get me wrong. I’m not super-pissed that they’ve shut down practically all services here at my place of work. I’m fuming because they’ve shut them down in favo(u)r of security for one lady politician, making a last-hour, surprise decision to come and give yet another regurgitated speech to the energized suckers voters who actually believe they can make a difference in this election. I will try to compose myself (and this rant), after having waited twenty-odd minutes to just get into the parking lot at my office, only to be scrutinized and frisked and almost prodded by a handful of Secret Service goons with tailor-made earpieces and Men’s Wearhouse semi-cheap suits, driving gas-guzzling, black SUVs. My disclaimer: I am all in favo(u)r of supporting striking workers, even at the expense of services being cut off. Say what you will about the French and the snootiness, but those frogs have bigger bollix and more intestinal fortitude than a zillion Americanos put together. Here is a country full of purported paté eating snobs willing to go without mass transit, amenable to let the garbage pile up, in support of working-class strikers. In Toronto, over the past weekend, mass transit went on a short-lived work stoppage (two days) and the populace almost revolted in the streets, calling the walkouts slackers and lazy scum. Imagine that; Canadians being less than civil to one another! Our influence has rubbed off. Will we ever realize that the effects or, rather, resolution to these protests can actually positively impact and improve our lives? Apparently the French have. Not so the Gringos. Cut off water for more than two hours and see what happens. Better yet, cut off CABLE unexpectedly.

And so back to the wanna-be-lady-prez. In order for me to get to work this morning, I had to walk a venerable gauntlet of security detail. These are people that I truly despise–law enforcement in general, really. I felt like Hunter Thompson walking into the middle of that cop convention in Fear and Loathing. True, the massive hangover didn’t help, but the hyperactive, shifty-eyed gorillas brandishing many a concealed firearm outright ruined my mood and demeanor. I loathe politics. I don’t trust any of these nouveau automaton Manchurian Candidates, no matter what “fresh” ideas they bring to the table. That other bozo marionette claims he will effect “change we can believe in.” The geezer POW says “everything is possible in America.” I’ve been around for too long to swallow it. These weird freaks of nurture have been promising the same old rubbish for decades. Save the cow manure and let me get to work in peace. I’ve got a newsletter to put out to illiterate educators by the first of the month.

Quick, but related tangent here. Señor Darth Vader was also in town recently. He flew in yesterday for a few hours to meet with a group of other stormtroopers at a private residence here in the capital of this great state. His motorcade consisted of no less than 17 vehicles, most of them gas-guzzling SUVs. Following his fortified limo was an ambulance–presumably to offer assistance in case either our man’s pacemaker went off-beat, or he somehow managed to clip someone else with his buckshot-laden, duck-hunting musket. In any case, a stretch of 20 miles of highway was closed for more than two hours, so this neocon swine could make his meeting on time (whoa, that rhymes Tonto!). You can just imagine the traffic jam lined up, waiting for our man to make his graceless entrance. Bull in a china shop, y’all. Bull in a china shop.

In closing (thank Feck) my point is: I will suffer the lack of services in support of a good, social cause, but I will not tolerate enforced shortages and restrictions in favo(u)r of bottom dweller politicians peddling outdated ideas and beating dead horses. Remember kiddos, our vote most certainly does not count. Corporations have long ago become the Teacher’s Pet and any breadcrumbs that actually do reach us, have been properly funneled and processed with preservatives, anti-caking agents, enhancers, emulsifiers, stabilizers, and all kinds of acidity regulators and buffers.

I’ll leave you with some good news. Seems like the French influence is working. This is great news despite the corporate sponsorship.


5 Responses to “Rant O’The Day”

  1. dr. zombieswan 29/04/2008 at 7:00 PM #

    I do too stalk you. Who the hell do you think hired those Ed Harris lookin’ guys? :)

    I liked your Key West piece. I need to write about my Key West visit. But it won’t be as interesting as yours. Never is. :)

  2. chapman 29/04/2008 at 7:03 PM #

    how can you be so angry and helpless at the same time? i definitely don’t agree with most of this post, although i still appreciate the vitriol in the delivery.it seems to be true that voting for whatever muppet has made it to the top of the political heap is ultimately six of one, over half a dozen of the other, but retreating from everything altogether in resolute defeat can’t be helpful.
    AND, being the lone Toronto-ite that you currently know, i think, i was one of those completely pissed off about the transit strike, and it didn’t even affect me. the reason most of us were pissed is that the salaries of TTC workers were published some time ago in a local paper and they tend to make upwards of 30 dollars an hour. that is CONSIDERABLY more than i make. and it’s driving a bus, or pushing a lever on a streetcar or subway train. they stress their level of “abuse” by the public and general strain of their jobs. i say, it’s an inherently time-related somewhat stressful job. but, it’s NOT worth that much money. and the people are usually pissed due to terrible service, which can likely be traced back to the fact that the TTC has no money because it all goes to pay the drivers more than cops make!
    happy tuesday and punch a secret service suit in the face for me.

  3. (S)wine 29/04/2008 at 7:11 PM #

    My good (chap) man,
    I am frustrated because all hands are tied by Corporations and I realized a long time ago that my vote means nothing. It literally came true in 2000 when I was residing in Palm Beach County, Florida and somehow, votes seemed to disappear. The Supreme Court decided who my president was.

    I continue to be frustrated because I cannot see a way out of the corporate quagmire. It’s like a labyrinth with all ways closed. And if you happen to be smart and dig a tunnel and somehow make it out, then you’ve got the Corporate Pan waiting to whack you with a baseball bat when your head pops up.

    Good to get that perspective regarding the transit strike. There are sides to all stories. We can go forward researching until the rest of our lives and still not get it right.

    I will refrain from doing what you suggest (although with much much restraint and will power) as just peering in the wrong direction is liable to get you bum-rushed.

    Thanks for the good words. As you know, I love Key West as much as I love New Orleans. And as you know, those are fictitious stories. Right? Right.

  4. Slyboots 29/04/2008 at 7:40 PM #

    I have a story about a stop earlier in the lady’s tours across our fair land. Seems the husband wound up in my hometown, and my dad, step-mom and sister (in a wheelchair, for real, no less) decided to go see her. She is really disabled, and they played that card to get to the front of the line. Shameless, but effective.

    Seems that at the high school there was no secret service detail. My dad had left his concealed weapon (with permit, mind you) at home, because he didn’t want any troubles, see. But they still got to the VIP area (thank you sister in wheelchair), and were about 50 feet away from the husband. Seems that it was giddy and they all came out of there infected by some kind of enthusiasm for Clintondom.

    But no frisking, no nothing. They were able to shuffle through the high school to the auditorium unimpeded by security of any kind. Gotta love it. And that my family will do anything for good seats.

  5. Cliff Burns 01/05/2008 at 7:10 PM #

    I think it was Lewis Lapham of HARPER’S who made the comment that American elections are farces because it’s just a case of “one blue-blooded son of aristocracy running against another”. Ordinary, NORMAL people can’t run for high office (they can’t afford to); instead we get narcissistic wealthy types who consider themselves slumming it by buying a Big Mac in a Beverly Hills/Bel Air McDonald’s.

    I recall that fantastic Bill Hicks comedy routine where he has the new President being led into a screening room in the White House, where a bunch of cigar-smoking capitalists show him footage of the Kennedy assassination from an angle never seen before.

    “Any questions, boy?”

    We miss ya, Bill…

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