We’ve sailed through some rough waters the last week or so. Really, the last couple of years. It is now March of 2009 and we both feel like we can finally breathe and start something here. There have been so many projects put aside or put off until…
I’m gonna…
One day I’m gonna…
Steam has been lost on writing books, writing stories, writing columns. It’s strange to sort of lead a life interrupted or fraught with hiccups. Especially if they are mandated by governments. I’ve gotten grayer at the temples, and only notice it when I get a haircut, but then in three months I turn 40. Not that that means anything to me. Which reminds me, I had a fantastic conversation with my 4 1/2 year-old daughter yesterday about reincarnation. She asked me out of the blue what would happen after she died and I told her I believe nothing really dies; it just comes back as something else. I kept it nice and simple, and she loved the idea of being re-born. Apparently, she’ll bring along a gift with a little card informing me that whatever she’s reincarnated as, is really my daughter, or was. I hope she doesn’t go before I go, but still…there’s the idea of some sort of note or communication. Take that Houdini! And so I’ll be on the lookout for a little kitten with a card and a bow…if something tragic should happen (no worries, she’s a bit macabre like that–she is my daughter after all). I told her I’d like to come back as a redwood. “Yea,” she said, “because you love to be peaceful, and you’re already tall and want to grow even taller…” Boy, is this kid dead on.
A few days ago, on Friday night during dinner we somehow got to talking with her about Quantum physics and super string theory (in kid terms, if there is such a strategy) and I told her “what’s really gonna bend your noodle is when you learn about one particle appearing in two places at the same time.” Of course, she couldn’t stop laughing at the “bend your noodle” metaphor. She’s really into metaphors. “Hold your horses” and “Keep an eye on it” are her faves. And now “bend your noodle.” I don’t know how I get into these conversations with her. She starts it! I swear.
And so to-day I feel like I can really begin. I feel like I’ve been given a new chance or a new life even. Things on the personal front have changed and are changing drastically and dramatically, and it is good. I don’t really recall ever feeling positive about stepping forward with anything. Except now. It’s taken 40 years nearly but there it is.
I’ve sifted through the reading list here (and redacted it) and I find myself going over to people’s oul’ familiar sites, which I’ve been reading now for the better part of 5 years. Some have slowed down, some have kept up the brilliant writing (Brandon), some (like me) have been stuck in a rut or moved on to Facebook or Twitter, shooting updates within a 100-character limit…but I’m so grateful that they’ve kept their sites–these few.
I’m not sure in which direction this site is going, but I’m excited. I’ve been in touch with a newly-made acquaintance from across the pond (see Beardbox) and we might toss around a few ideas of combining art and visuals with words. We’ll see.
Oh and…meantime, tangent: I finally got a chance to see Scorsese’s “After Hours” last night. My better half didn’t dig it so much, but I thought it was absolutely brilliant. They don’t make satire and comedy like that anymore and Marty has long ago abandoned his idea of advancing art via film and frankly I don’t blame him. The Oscar they gave him a few years ago for that mediocre film with Jack and Good Will Hunting was pretty much a make-up for the gems he’s given us in the 70s and 80s.
Oh and…another tangent: Ron Silver is dead. Eff him…he made mediocre films and he was a fatcat Republican swine–but I really try not to judge people. Really. Let’s hope he comes back as a little lamb wielding a greeting card with a message. You know, for his family’s sake.
Lx
(S)wine: Fiction...Sometimes 
I remember seeing “After Hours” when it first came out on video. Good stuff.
As for Ron Silver, I could never figure out what happened to the guy. One day, he was a solid Hollywood liberal; and after 9/11 he turned the most craven, idiotic neocon apologist imaginable.
Yeah, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? And big changes while things also stay the same. I remember the first time I ever stumbled on your blog and being so blown away by your dialouge between characters. You told such a story with just the conversation, not weighed down by the baroque (see Hemingway).
I’m thinking a lot about this whole thing, blogging, facebook, “friends”, etc, and I don’t know exactly where it will ultimately lead. It does, however, seem to lead to multiple Faces. Which is something I don’t like. So.