12 Jun

everyone is nudging inching cheating for some insignificant advantage
glossed over with petty grievances weapons plots and hatred
i look at them a blind line walking barefoot over shards of glass and hot coals
calloused feet insulate the pain and the brain
i hate them i hate jobs cities holidays history grandmothers movies algebra and charlie chaplin
i hate their contentment and futility in the face of ongoing absurdity
niceties and politeness and adhering to familial rules of etiquette enforced by belief in the supernatural
a micromanaging wrathful god staring at eternity and boredom the all-judging eye
over their sorrowful lives the fictitious deity with the editor’s pen ready to eviscerate if necessary or augment
i’ve begun to see things coffee cups lined up behind the counter in a diner
a filthy dog walking along a sidewalk the crushed roach on top of the dresser
fixed within all this like a mosquito in amber fixed within a bit of life caught in itself
i’ve begun to miss hours days at a time weeks summers neckties glasses
the entire world is at the throat of the world shortchanged despondent dis-illusioned
i’ve begun to miss and not miss at the same time plussed and non-plussed at the same time
the everything that’s here
i’ve begun to turn off the lights in different rooms behind me as i leave them

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4 Responses to “”

  1. Erin O'Brien 12/06/2009 at 10:23 AM #

    You and I are thinking alike today.

  2. Matt 12/06/2009 at 9:10 PM #

    Thoughts brewed in bile need no punctuation.

  3. FRAU! 12/06/2009 at 11:49 PM #

    Nice. I especially like the last line. I’m probably reading into it too much like I usually do with stuff, but it reminded me of growing up. Like my whole childhood up to the end of high school I remember my mom nagging, “turn off the lights when you leave a room!” and then once I lived on my own, grew up, and figured out the consequences of keeping lights on for no reason ($$), I started turning them off. A nice metaphor for growing up without really noticing it, I guess. a progression in life, but for what.

  4. (S)wine 13/06/2009 at 4:43 PM #

    EOB, yes.
    Matt, yes.
    Frau, I tried a half-arsed attempt at a metaphor with the lights and all that business.

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