The Short Happy Life of Tilly Schweinhuber

1 Jun

In his 20s and 30s Tilly worked for his father’s business, catering food to off-shore oil rigs in the Gulf of Mexico.
His dinner, now, consists of Sun Chips and diet ice tea.
He beat out the housing bubble of ’04 and bought an elk ranch with the money he made off his property.
His mobile phone, now, buzzes incessantly with calls from various media.
The elk were brought in from a man in North Dakota.
After he sold his property, Tilly went to live in a shipping container. It had a hot tub. It was “nice.”
He marketed his idea of converting shipping containers into homes for oil workers on off-shore rigs, and now heads up the American Marine Leasing Company, total revenue last year: $23 million.
He also sells the velvet off the elks’ antlers for arthritis medicine.
In his 20s, Tilly ran (and lost) for state representative.
In the early 80s he became chief of staff for Governor Joe E. Treen, Alabama’s first Republican governor since Reconstruction.
He was born with cataracts.
While he takes out parties of journalists to see oiled pelicans and damaged wildlife, he wears Cajun Reeboks–white, shrimp boots.
Tilly Schweinhuber knows how to loop the wire and hook up his own lavaliere mic.
He has no children and no wife.

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