the men

22 Jun

I read Carver mostly and Bukowski (still)
at those crucial times when I think the walls are breathing me thin
rubbing me out
and the dullness of the gin doesn’t help
I used to advertise that
but it contributed to the agony
There were always the usual queries
why do you only read men
why only those two men
aren’t you a misogynist like those men you read
And so on into a thick humid night
several nights running
Usually my mistakes ended in some kind of smashing of something
plates bottles paintings
one time even the old Underwood
(that one really hurt because I didn’t have the money to buy another machine)
So now I don’t say anything
I lie
I confess to watching TV
like most of the people I know
But still there are the usual queries
which show
which network
at what time
why do you always watch TV
shouldn’t you do something more productive
I have this apocalyptic vision of all the inquisitors
they drive in from work
up their driveways
into their garages
the automatic doors slide down shut
before they even get out of their cars
they go inside their homes through the utility door
and start asking questions
until their loved ones one day pack up and leave
for good.

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3 Responses to “the men”

  1. gamefaced 22/06/2011 at 3:28 PM #

    Bukowski (always)

  2. Robb 28/06/2011 at 1:08 AM #

    This, sir, was quite good. Smashing, even.

  3. Lx 28/06/2011 at 7:36 AM #

    Thank you sir.

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